Dear Friends,
Two weeks ago, which was three weeks after I finished radiation treatments, I tried to get back into my usual workout routine. It was exhausting and frustrating. I tried to beat my body into submission but finally had to accept that the side-effects of the radiation had not worn off enough for me to resume my normal activities. This week, I decided to try working out again and have been feeling a lot better. I’m still easily tired, but this time only as much as one might expect after I took most of the last four months off. In the middle of my workout Tuesday morning, I was reminded of something I’ve learned (and am still learning) about how to treat my body that I want to share with you.
I have found over the years that trying to change my behavior out of distaste for my body tends to be unpleasant and short-lived, while healthy eating and exercise habits motivated by love for my body is enjoyable and sustainable. Here is an example: I weighed more at age sixteen than I have for most of my life. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was because I was on the swim team or a side effect of hormone changes. In retrospect, I wasn’t overweight. But my mother, who had always been quite thin, commented that I was getting fat. I felt shame, went to Weight Watchers, and attempted a strict weight-loss diet. I hated every minute of it. After a few weeks, I gave up, went to the donut store, bought a dozen donuts, and ate nine of them. That is probably the most food I’ve ever eaten in a single day! In this case, the motive was shame. The experience was miserable, and the result was less healthy eating rather than more healthy eating. More recently, I’ve had the opposite experience.
The small bit of extra weight I put on in high school went away all by itself by the time I was nineteen, and I didn’t think much about food or weight until around age fifty. Like a lot of people, I gained some weight during the long shut-down of the Covid pandemic. As when I was sixteen, I wasn’t really overweight. Though I definitely liked my former weight better! This time, I didn’t entertain shaming thoughts about my body but thought instead about how to care for my mind and body well. I exercised outdoors in order to be able to enjoy nature. I gave myself permission to stop when I was tired. And I took time to delight in preparing and eating healthy food. Choosing to see eating as good rather than bad, I told myself that, having given my body some good, healthy exercise, I now needed to give it some good nourishment to strengthen and replenish itself. This time, my goal was to love and care for my body. I enjoyed the process and was able to meet my goal in a sustainable way.
Why am I sharing this with you today? No, I’m not trying to become a health coach rather than a pastor. If the stories I’ve shared about diet and exercise are helpful for diet and exercise goals, that’s wonderful. But really, this is all just an illustration of a broader life principle found in the scriptures.
It turns out that focusing on not doing things that are bad for us tends to make us miserable and to result in doing things that are bad for us. Listen to what Paul says in Romans 7:7-10 (NIV) “I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, ‘You shall not covet.’ But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting. . . . I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.” In other words, being told not to do certain things tends to make us want to do those things that have been forbidden even when we know they are harmful. For this reason, focusing on what not to do is seldom helpful.
In Christian circles, we often call this unhelpful and shame filled approach to life “sin management.” In contrast to this approach, Paul recommends focusing on what we do want to do rather than on what we don’t want to do. This is part of how Christians engage new life in the Spirit. Paul says in Romans 8:5 (NIV), “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.” This means that the changed lives we aim to live as followers of Jesus are produced in us as we allow the Spirit to change what we desire and what we think about. Instead of constantly trying to keep our distorted desires in check, thereby allowing ourselves to be preoccupied with what is evil and producing shame, we die to our sin with Jesus on the cross and are resurrected with him as new people filled with his Spirit. Then we invite the Spirit to lead us, body, mind, and spirit, into what is good and is good for us.
Let me offer another example of this. When I was twenty years old, I came to a point where I knew I needed to cut drugs and alcohol out of my life. I spent nine months trying every day to not use drugs and alcohol, which meant I thought all day every day about drugs and alcohol. I was miserable and made a lot of terrible choices while trying to find ways to achieve an altered state that I could tell myself didn’t count. I eventually relapsed, and not long after that, I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. It was at this time that I first encountered Jesus. I accepted his offer to end my life as it had been so far and to receive forgiveness and a new life empowered by his Spirit. I pursued sobriety a second time, and this time I didn’t sit around thinking about not getting high. Instead, I read about the love of God in the scriptures. I rediscovered a passion for the outdoors and for nature, the beauty and magnificence of which I now understood to be the intentional artwork of God. And I started volunteering with Coast’s ministry to the poor and homeless. My life was so full of things I felt good about that there was little room left over to think about drugs or alcohol. I no longer desired to escape from my own mind but to be alert and present.
If anyone reading this is struggling to make a life change, big or small, I want to invite you to let the Spirit of Jesus change the way you think. Don’t spend time dwelling on what you don’t want to do or shaming yourself for where you are or things you’ve already done. Ask to be made new. Invite the Spirit to speak to you about the good things God wants to bring into your life and to lead you into new behaviors and new desires. Don't be discouraged if it takes some time to change your thinking. Just keep redirecting "don't" thoughts and actions toward "do" thoughts and actions, trusting in the power of the Spirit to make all things new.
A prayer:
Jesus, I recognize that I cannot manage my sin. I need your forgiveness and your transformation. I give you my life, and I receive yours instead. Show me the new and good things that you have for me and lead me into them as I focus on the good you are teaching me and not on the things I am leaving behind. Give me life and joy. Amen.
Love in Christ,
Michelle
