Dear Friends,
One question I struggle with often and that a number of you may relate to is how much control to exercise over my teenagers’ internet use. On the one hand, I want to protect them from the endless stream of soul-killing garbage available on the net. I’m often so disturbed by what is out there that I’m tempted to try to cut off their access to the internet altogether! On the other hand, I want to protect my relationship with my kids and support their experience of independence and autonomy as they are approaching adulthood. Right now, my kids come to me with their questions about all aspects of life, trusting that I will listen without judging and offer valuable advice and insight. But if I try to control their lives too much, I can destroy this trust and cause them to distance themselves from me. When they have a problem, especially if it is one they have caused through their own mistakes, they may not come to me.
In all of this inner dialogue I have with myself over parenting, the central question, as with most parents, is what is in the best interest of the kids. What can I do that will serve them best? I want them to thrive throughout their lives, and the vast majority of my decisions related to them are driven by a desire for their long-term happiness and well-being. This is how God thinks about us as well.
Proverbs 3:11-12 (in my own translation from the Hebrew) reads,
“My child, do not reject the discipline of the Lord,
nor be distressed by his rebuke.
For the Lord corrects whom he loves,
as a parent the child delighted in.”
These words invite us to come to God when we have a problem and when we have made mistakes, not with fear of harsh censure, but with the expectation that God, who has our best interest in mind, will correct our errors and point us in the right direction because he loves us.
This morning, I read an article on prayer by a man named Bill Gaultiere, in which he described being at a retreat with a number of Christian leaders and finding himself feeling jealous of the other people there because of the exciting things they were doing. He felt guilty and discouraged because of the attitude of his heart. But then a friend brought up Paul’s words in Philippians 2:3 (NIV) “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” He suggests that the reader might think he would feel even more guilty and ashamed at this point. But instead, he says, he began to meditate on this verse and to speak it as a prayer over each person he felt jealous of. Receiving and embracing correction from God in this way freed him from his jealousy and gave him gratitude for the opportunity to pray for God’s blessing on the work of others.
Early in my relationship with Jesus, I would feel fearful when I started to pray if I knew something in my heart or my life was not right. But I am learning that God’s discipline truly is for my benefit. As a loving parent who delights in their child and wants every good thing for them, God always has my best interest in mind and corrects me in order to cause me to thrive. Knowing this is how God feels about each of us, let us come to him with all of our troubles, even those that exist because of our own fault, and receive love, correction, and direction from him.
Pray with me if you will,
Thank you God that you have created me to be your beloved child. Thank you that you love me enough to correct and guide me so that I can thrive. Help me to trust you and to come to you when I need your help. Amen.
Love in Christ,
Michelle
